From Lucy / 504

Thank you so much for this site.
DD10 received a 504 plan at the end of September which allows her to be aided into school about 10 min early by a staff member each morning. She's usually okay once she has transitioned into school each morning and does not receive any other accommodations. This morning we had a setback, as the usual person was absent, which she was expecting, but she had been told her classroom teacher would come out instead but that was not the case. Just wondering if any of you have experience with this type of accommodation. My daughter tends to be controlling,and I think there is resentment on the staff that she dictates who she does and does not enter the building with. But by the same token pushing her gets us nowhere.

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Jayne DemskyComment
From Melissa / When is a treatment program needed?

Hello. I have a 10 year old son that is going through his second bout of school refusal.
He attended a school last year for kids with mental health and behavioral problems.
Unlike most of the kids there he doesn't have behavioral problems once he is in the building (fights us and the staff) He needs to be in regular school so he can get a better education and be with his friends. My question is at what point is a treatment program needed? I saw the list of php and residential programs. How do you get a referral to one of these? And how do you know if you have chosen a good one? Thanks in advance for all your help.

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From Tracy / My daughter's School Refusal/Phobia

My daughter Emma has been suffering with school refusal since 3rd grade. It started about a year after her father's death. It became very bad in 4th grade. I tried to talk with the school, but most of it fell on deaf ears. She was physically carried into school. She would huddle in the corner of the coat room while they threatened her saying, they would call the police and telling her she was going to jail. She became increasingly despondent and stopped eating for fear she might choke and die. I was called to school one day and found her huddled under a desk essentially mute.

At the time I was listening to the "experts." I think they did more harm than good. She went to a partial hospitalization for two weeks. During this time she had been under the care of a therapist and psychiatrist. She had a partial neuropsych eval. Dx. With PTSD and severe anxiety.

Finally the school began to work with me when Emma was discharged from the hospital. She was placed on a 504 plan. Emma got through the 5th grade better with accommodations in place. We proceeded to middle school. Unfortunately, there was no plan, and the 504 did not follow her. At that time I didn't think Emma or myself could go through another battle trying to make the school work with us. I pulled her out ( at my own expense using retirement money) and placed her in a small catholic school. The smaller class size was a big help, but she still struggled. That brings us, now, to 7th grade. She has fallen apart again facing another hospitalization. I have contacted the public school to inquire about education options for her I have a meeting schedule.

The catholic school has offered to help, but they really cannot provide the accommodations she needs. She wants to go to school, but when we get there she gets panicky and can't get in the door.

I really feel if she could get into a therapeutic school setting she might be able to overcome this. I happened across your site. There is very little help/information on how to deal with this. There is plenty written about what school refusal is but very little about dealing with it. If anyone has any help/advise to offer I would greatly appreciated it. Thank you for reading. Tracy

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My Sons Experience-2014 -From Jason / Maryland

After switching from elementary school to middle school, my son, started getting into a sporadic school refusal starting out like a Monday just not feeling to good. Or through the frigid winter, there were days that were particularly difficult when it was 10 degrees Fahrenheit. Thanksgiving break, and Christmas break made for difficult returns after each.

On top of these more, of less "comfort" issues my son is in The gifted and talented program in all classes. So each day, to do homework took between 2-4 hours it came to the point that school work is all he did other than eat and sleep. In February while negotiating with the school about this issue, the school was very slow to act in really anyway,shape, or form. They basically gave our family a list of websites and told us to figure it out!
In March the school suggest to use an isolation and restraint methodology and by April with him missing so much time and the pressure of the school mentioning I could be fined or jailed, I allowed it. After about three times of allowing this I was unable to subject him to it any longer because it was worsening the issue.

After a few weeks of straight missed days the school counselor tells my son if he didn't come the forth quarter he would not fail, I could not believe this! This I immediately knew made getting him to go to school exponentially more difficult.

I don't want to say much about our current situation as we still deal with the school refusal because I've been informed I may now need to go to court.

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